Recent Twitter Likes:
Donโt mean to sound harsh but if Mr Bean ever comes to Texas and tries some of his classic gags, I wish him luck. Those sorts of tricks donโt fly around here
— th0mas (@len0killer) February 11, 2020
— funkรฉ (@funkemcfly) February 13, 2020
Wednesday: Reading up on the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendation on TV for kids under 2 (which is more or less "don't") and saying "ahhh shit" over and over again while flinging all these Baby Einstein DVDs into the street.
— Jeff Gerstmann (@jeffgerstmann) February 19, 2020
TOM NOOK: welcome to the deserted island!
— the internet's michael lutz (@WarrenIsDead) February 20, 2020
ME: who deserted it and why?
TOM NOOK: you and your friends live here now!
ME: where?
TOM NOOK: on this deserted island!
ME: how is it deserted if we live here
TOM NOOK, in the VOICE OF MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER: ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐
Itโs not like you have to be some genius philosopher king to start a business. I mean Iโve started a business. Itโs called Doughboys Media. Itโs a podcast where me & my friend call each other fat https://t.co/gApeXq8ZYZ
— Nick โThunderโ Wiger (@nickwiger) February 20, 2020
"A 5-STAR CHEF HAS EARNED THE GREATEST ACCOLADES POSSIBLE. HERE ARE 10 INTERSTATE FAST FOOD LOCATIONS WE'D LIKE TO SEE HIM MANAGE" https://t.co/QiR5hcDT8r
— Bill Mudron (@mudron) February 21, 2020
things to ask yourself at a party:
— The Library Owl ๐๐ ๐ฆ (@SketchesbyBoze) February 22, 2020
โข where are the bookshelves
โข where are the exits
โข who poisoned the wine
โข who wanted the hostess dead and why
โข does the killer think they can outwit you, the greatest detective in the world
I bought an orange julius at the mall and itโs pretty good. Not real happy about being told what I can and canโt do with my wet ticket but I get it. pic.twitter.com/l4CnlG1C7A
— Jeff Gerstmann (@jeffgerstmann) February 22, 2020
Welcome to the Hellraiser club, we all have fucked up names like Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer, and of course, Female Cenobite.
— giant talking Olive (@SLIMELEVEL) February 23, 2020
in the 90s you could go the grocery store and and see Dark Horny Seinfeld surrounded by a border of LA'S TEEN SEX GANG and THE COCAINE CARTEL and everyone just acted like this was normal anyway for my younger followers that's what magazines were pic.twitter.com/26Ok0YEKFs
— D๐CFUTURE (@topherflorence) February 23, 2020
For weeks, no tortillas in the tortilla section of the grocery store. Today, two tortilla suppliers were there freaking out as if theyโd been called to an emergency tortilla cabinet meeting. Maybe now weโre finally gonna get some fucking tortillas around this place!
— Marc Laidlaw (@marc_laidlaw) February 28, 2020
you: vaporwave has exhausted itself. a fascinating moment, but its tropes eventuall–
— The Mountain Goats (@mountain_goats) February 28, 2020
me: check this shit out it sounds like they left the tape in a bucket of warm water
joezone 