2020.05.19 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 46

It was a holiday here yesterday so I took the extra day off from the blog too. I promise I didn’t do anything exciting.

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

I rewatched the original Ghost in the Shell last night. It is still brilliant, even moreso than I remembered. The moments of stillness (the montage of environmental storytelling, in addition to being beautiful is some of the best examples of character development through slow cinema you’re likely to see) really stood out to me this time. The way Oshii lets shots linger and give you time to take everything in and sit and think about what’s happening. Without intending to I seem to have begun a bit of an Oshii retrospective as last week I also watched the original Patlabor OVA series with some friends. We’re watching the first Patlabor movie tomorrow and I suspect I’ll just continue on and watch as much of his work as I’m able to get my hands on.

Rewatching Ghost in the Shell also has me wanting some more cyberpunk up in hurr, so I’m finally getting around to reading the final installment in William Gibson’s “Sprawl Trilogy”, MONA LISA OVERDRIVE. I also kind of want to rewatch The Matrix? At least the first movie. I haven’t watched it in years and I suspect have seen way more of the things it’s riffing on (and in many cases just referencing directly) and that seems like it would be a fun thing to do.

Currently Playing: Kenji Kawai – “Ghost in the Shell Original Soundtrack”
Currently Reading: MONA LISA OVERDRIVE, William Gibson

2020.05.15 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 45

Gunther was slain in the catacombs.

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

It’s movie night here at the hovel. The plan is to watch SCOOB with the tiny anarchists who live in my house. I am looking forward to hanging out with said anarchists, but I am NOT looking forward to this movie. Before even seeing the trailer I was pretty sure this movie was going to be an abomination.

Scooby-Doo is one of, if not my favorite cartoon series of all time? Gang of meddling kids and their dog solve mysteries. It’s simple and perfect. It’s so good that it has been going for ~50 years at this point. It’s an infinitely repeatable premise that needs no updating. That’s why in the last 50 years every time they HAVE tried to change it it’s always failed. Adding (literally) Scrappy sidekicks, or worse making the monsters they investigate ACTUALLY supernatural (completely missing the point) always ruins the magic. For the past 10-15 years there has been a tremendous run of fantastic Scooby shows and movies. The direct to video film series has been putting out mostly good (and some fantastic) installments twice a year like clockwork. Scooby-Doo Mystery Inc, Be Cool Scooby-Doo and Scooby-Doo and Guess Who? have all been spectacular and all have the same voice cast (with one or two exceptions, when someone retires and is replaced). The current line up of Frank Welker, Grey Griffin, Matthew Lillard and Kate Micucci is my S-Rank, canonical Scooby-Doo cast. (Welker has been voicing Fred since the original Scooby-Doo Where Are You? series). Which brings me to why I was already pretty sure SCOOB was going to be dire.

They cast celebrity dipshits instead of the people who’ve been voicing these characters for (in some cases FIFTY years). Get the fuck out of here WILL FORTE. You are not now, nor will you ever be Fred Jones. Gina Rodriguez, I don’t know who you are, but I know who you’re NOT: Velma Dinkley. Amanda Seyfried, I thought it was cool that you were on Twin Peaks: The Return, but it’s NOT cool that you’re scab-Daphne Blake. Zac Efron? Just… just get out of my sight.

Anyway, this movie looks like dog-shit, I hope my children hate it so I never have to watch it again.

Currently Reading: THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, Edgar Rice Burroughs

2020.05.14 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 44

They announced a new Paper Mario game and it’s out in 2 months!

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

Today I learned about a Super Famicom game called “UFO Kamen Yakisoba – Kettler no Kuroi Inbou”. If you don’t know, the Super Famicom is name of the console that would be released in North America as the Super Nintendo. The game is a side-scrolling beat-em-up of the type that was very common in the mid 90’s in the arcades and on the 16-bit consoles of the era. It features as its protagonist the mascot UFO KAMEN YAKISOBA, a costumed vigilante from a series of commercials for Yakisoba instant noodles from Nissin Foods. He would do battle with a nefarious villain named Kettler who appears to be a man in a onesie with a kettle on his head. There was apparently a feature film produced in 1994.

So. To review: A super-nintendo beat-em-up based on a commercial for instant noodles that would go on to be a major motion picture.

Heck of a start to a thursday.

Currently Playing: STYX – “The Grand Illusion”
Currently Reading: SQUIRREL SEEKS CHIPMUNK, David Sedaris

2020.05.13 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 43

I’ve begun talking to myself so much that I’ve started to answer myself and get into arguments. No I haven’t. Shut up, you.

Greetings from our hovel on the shores of the Bow.

I have the theme song from My Little Pony stuck in my head. I bet if I drilled a hole in my forehead… it would hurt.

Today is the first day in the last couple weeks I haven’t had terrible back pain by 3pm, I am celebrating by sitting in this chair for another 6 or 7 hours tonight. I got this butt pillow what’s supposed to help with back and tail bone pain and for the most part it has worked beautifully, at least for the tail bone. Some say with age comes wisdom, but actually age just brings more and more stupid doodads and contraptions you buy to mitigate the ever-mounting agony of simply existing. I spent entirely too much of my youth consuming too much pizza and doing painful pratfalls. So desperate for attention was I. I would routinely reenact a Monty Python sketch wherein Graham Chapman would wrestle himself (Colin “Bomber” Harris!) and pulled zero punches. I regret taking some of those bumps now, or at the very least not marrying them with some kind of physical fitness regime as I now have all the nagging, wear-and-tear injuries of a career athlete with none of the accolades, accomplishments or slender frame! At least I have the memory of the echoing gales of laughter… well, at least of my friend Bernard laughing pretty hard. Memorable laugh on ol’ Bernard. Good guy. Lives in Toronto now.

Currently Playing: MYTH & ROID – “MYTH & ROID ベストアルバム「MUSEUM-THE BEST OF MYTH & ROID-“
Currently Reading: I have like 20 pages left in 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne

2020.05.12 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 42

What do you get if you multiply six by nine?

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

They’re releasing an HD remaster of the first 2 Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater games in september. THPS 3 was the best one in my opinion, but it also still plays just fine and it’s not that hard to get GCs or PS2s running on modern setups. This is pretty cool. The announcement says that “many songs from the original soundtrack” will be featured. This seems like it would be the hardest part of doing this and probably the reason it hasn’t been done before now. It would be a nightmare trying to license all that music again. I just hope they got Superman by Goldfinger.

My brother brought to my attention this unused song from the SNES Flintstones game this morning. (There’s a sentence for you). Holy shit, it is a banger.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPlDHLuJLmk&feature=share

Currently Playing: That fucking Flintstones jam.
Currently Reading: still 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne

2020.05.11 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 41

I introduced one of the tiny anarchists who live in my house to Mario Party on the weekend. It’s important to teach your children that everything in life is random bullshit and nowhere near as fun as it probably should be.

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

I watched PLAYING WITH FIRE with the kids yesterday. It’s the latest film in the rich tradition of big strong pro-wrestlers being saddled with small children and being forced to care for them and along the way learning valuable lessons about themselves. Your enjoyment of it will likely depend on your tolerance for that particular sub-genre. I found it cute, occasionally pretty funny. I called literally every single beat along the way, but I see that less as a damnation of the film and more that it knew EXACTLY what it was and what beats it’s supposed to hit and hit them all well. Plus, John Cena does the “you can’t see me” thing with his hands at one point.

Just read that we lost Martin Pasko. His work doesn’t get the praise it deserves. He wrote or edited and revitalized many of your favorite DC comics and was co-writer of the canonical best Batman film: MASK OF THE PHANTASM. A true giant of comics and animation. RIP

Currently Reading: 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne

2020.05.08 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 40

We’re at the “I’m going to watch Naruto from the beginning” stage of quarantine.

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

This might be the isolation speaking? but… I’m thinkin’ about trying my hand at painting miniatures? I bet the bride’s got brushes I could use, I just need to order some paints? and a miniature what to paint? Do they make robot miniatures? I don’t really care about Orcs and shit, but I’d paint a mecha all day.

There is also the “painting and weathering some of the Gundam models I have” option. That might be fun too. I’d have to clean off this desk and probaby get a better light… ooh but then maybe I could also set up m’webcam to stream it. This is starting to sound more like one of those projects where I have a great time getting everything set up and then once it’s ready the actual project falls by the wayside because what I REALLY wanted to do was sort out the supplies and whatnot. We’ll see, I guess.

Very little to report this week in the way of any sort of READING ICCULUSNESS so not going to bother with a post. I’m about halfway through 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, it’s fun. I have also read some manga: Vol 2 of CRYING FREEMAN and the first volume of BLACK CANVAS: MY SO-CALLED ARTISTS JOURNEY. Both are great. Expecting a bunch of books in the mail next week so maybe next friday we’ll have more to discuss.

Currently Playing; I’m watching Naruto, so just the theme from Naruto I guess.
Currently Reading: I just told you that.

2020.05.07 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 39

Those next gen XBOX games sure do look like current gen XBOX games, don’t they?

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

I ordered a baggie of elastic bands for the bride to bundle up some of her new stuff for her etsy shop (which has a url and I’m going to find out what it is and tell you about it some day) but mistakenly sent them to the office and not to the hovel. I’m mostly surprised I haven’t done that more often.

The tiny anarchists who live in my house have discovered Pokemon Go and are now patrolling the house seeking out AR monsters at which to fling virtual pokeballs. It’s an improvement from their usual antics of patrolling the house seeking out the bride and I to fling any and everything to hand at. And the cost? Why only a live feed of their GPS coordinates to a giant shitty corporation! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!

If they could read I’d buy them Switch lite’s and Sword and Shield. At least then they could play an actual game instead of the dumbshittery that is Pokemon Go. Oh, well… I need to lay down.

Currently Playing: Heinali – “A Wave Crashes”

Currently Reading: 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne

2020.05.06 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 38

I felt lousy this morning and went back to bed after about 2 hours today and am only just now getting spun back up again at 4:00. Gonna be a long night, I think.

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

For some reason I am feeling like I want to rewatch Wrestlemania 17. I’ve seen that show many times since seeing it for the first time live in a movie theatre with a bunch of other screaming, excited adolescents, but I feel the urge to see it again… Have thusfar resisted walking over to the shelf with the dvd on it, but suspect I’ll only be able to hold out for so long.

At the time I remember the TLCII match being the most amazing thing in the universe. When I’ve revisited it later I find it VERY hard to watch. There is basically no psychology, it’s a giant stunt show and the stunts and bumps the wrestlers take are HORRIFIC. There are moments in this match seared into my memory but seeing them again they’re always more terrifying than I remember. The fact that any of these men are still walking is incredible (though at least 2 of them had to retire early due to concussions or neck issues). Don’t. Do. These. Matches.

Currently Playing: Machinefabriek – “Stillness Soundtracks”

Currently Reading: 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne

2020.05.05 Dispatches From the Wasteland – Entry 37

My Asuka Neon Genesis: Evangelion Funko Pop arrived today. So now I’m a guy who buys anime toys? This seems like it could be very dangerous. Fortunately there is no Misato funko pop and there’s no way I’m putting Shinji on my desk, I mean comeonwearecivilizedhereimeancomeonhahahahaahahaha… Maybe a body pillow?

Greetings from my hovel on the shores of the Bow.

I built a little Spirited Away puzzle but it was missing a piece and I’ve been apoplectic about it for a day now. The worst part is I’m not sure if it was truly missing a piece when I unwrapped the package or whether this is the work of the tiny anarchists who live in my house. We may never know for sure. Thankfully my friend Michael used photoshop to insert the missing piece for me so I got to look at so my brain would stop melting! Thanks, Maggle!

Jigsaw puzzles are great, but for a long time I couldn’t do them. Years ago, before my medications were all better balanced and whatnot doing a jigsaw puzzle would send my OCD into overdrive and I’d sit there, steam billowing out my ears, all muscles positively vibrating with tension, for HOURS until the last piece was finished and then I’d collapse. It was really sad because I liked doing puzzles in the before times, the times before my myriad mental illnesses all exploded at once. It was so nice to test the waters with this little Ghibli puzzle and discover I’m in a mental state that allows me to actually find the relaxation and fun in doing puzzles again… at least until that piece was gone. Thanks again to Maggle for solving that one.

Puzzles, Model Kits… maybe next I’ll get into paining miniatures! You can never have too many stupid hobbies that take up all your space/money/bride’s patience!

Currently Playing; Stevie Ray Vaughan – “Couldn’t Stand the Weather”
Currently Reading: 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, Jules Verne